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Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Unless/until you find yourself in relationship with someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or narcisstic traits, it can be difficult to understand the unique challenges that come with navigating this treacherous landscape. Understanding attachment styles, patterns, and needs, and acknowledging your own attachment wounds and adaptive coping skills become critical to emotional survival. As gut wrenching as this experience can be, it can also be a portal to accelerated emotional development and freedom. Unsure if the person you are thinking of leans narcisstic or what that even means? While this issue is trending right now, the information you're digesting through social media is likely just scraping the surface of the reality of these concerns. NPD is a clinical diagnosis, and is rarely given by clinicians, in part because the label itself can be so stigmatizing but also because those who do exhibit narcissistic traits are not prone to engage in treatment. (Hint: that means if you're here, you are unlikely to be a narcissist, although it is common for victims of narcissistic abuse to wonder this.)  While it might be helpful to apply a label to gain insight through research or find community, the fact is you suspect you have been a victim of narcissistic abuse, you have at a minimum experienced a toxic relationship, and getting help is essential. I understand the challenges you face and the steps you need to take to take back control and heal. 

Exploring Non-Monogamy

At the heart of my practice is a desire to see every one of my clients in their fullest expression of freedom and creativity. That means challenging the historical, societal, and cultural values that underlie and inform the choices that shape their lives. For many, a monogamous lifestyle compliments this pursuit, however others find the mono-normative default feels unfairly compulsory and deeply at odds with their true feelings, desires, and ability to be fully autonomous. For those brave few (although the tide may be turning on those numbers), the road to happy and healthy multiple partners can be fraught with peril. We spend our lives knitting together attachment systems designed to keep our nervous system regulated and provide critical feelings of safety and comfort. Venturing away from those systems leaves us in uncharted territory, exposed to triggers that can elicit panic on a primal level. Honoring your emotional safety by seeking out informed and supportive voices often means the difference between re-traumatizing your precious inner child and expanding your emotional capacity to hold love and connection on an entirely new level. I work with individuals, couples, and groups interested in learning the emotional skills critical to this journey.

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